July 5th-15th

I just made a big mistake and was not saving as I went and just lost an entire post I was working on, grrrrrr!!

Matt and Tristyn made it safely home from Vancouver, WA visiting family. They went up for Tristyn's cousin Savannah's baptism. She had a great time with her dad and cousins. Matt said after Savannah's baptism she said, "Daddy, watching Savannah get baptized makes me want to get baptized." It is so special to me that a little girl 5 years old can make that choice and that she wants to get baptized and follow Christ. We try to teach her to make correct choices and follow Christ, but hearing her say something like that is very rewarding and makes us grateful we also have family and friends who are trying and succeeding at their teaching. Thanks Dave and Rachel! I am so thankful Matt and Tristyn had an opportunity to be together for a few days, just Daddy and Daughter. Matt said she traveled very well, she is our little traveler, we love and are proud of her.

While they were gone it gave me a chance to just spend time with Maia and Isaac. Even though I still had 2 children, it just seems so much less busy with 2 children, rather than 3, even with them being 2 years old. I love all my children very much and am so thankful and blessed I have 3 with me, but it is nice to have one on one time with each one of them. We had an opportunity to go to the park with my parents one night and I just loved watching Maia and Isaac play. The enjoyment a child gets from simple things like the swing or the slide, running up a ramp, just chasing them is so refreshing and simple. Maia could sit in a swing for 30 min to an hour and be entertained just laughing with her entire belly. While Isaac can laugh and laugh by simply running up and down a ramp to go down a slide on his tummy and backwards. The simplicity of children is such a blessing and refreshing to see their smiles and happiness with just having one on one time with them. All my children love having story time, playing at the park, playing in the sand, being chased across a field, tickleling then, throwing a ball back and forth. The list of simple joys can go on, what makes a child happy makes me happy and reminds me that I need to be like a child. Like Christ reminds us, "we need to be like a child to enter the kingdon of God." Just to see a childs happiness and love for life reminds me of Christ and the finding happiness in simple things is what Christ wants. I love my children, each one so much and each one holds a special place in my heart, all so different, yet so much alike.

Even though Asa is not with us right now, he is a constant reminder to be happy and strive to make right choices, he is where we are all trying to reach, he has reached perfection and will be with Christ. He was so little, but has left a huge imprint in my life to be better, look at life in an eternal perspective. Sometimes I loose that perspective and I loose sight of what is most important, but it is always there sometimes deeper than is should be, but Asa does help keep that perspective closer than it may be.

This week I have also been feeling a bit anxious and the "nesting syndrome" has surfaced. I feel very anxious to get things done, which is a good sign this baby is coming. The problem is that I feel like I am going crazy because of all the things I feel need to be done. I have accomplished many chores I feel need to be done, but still have so many more I think are important. I really have felt anxious so I asked Matt to give me a blessing a while ago and was able to receive it Monday night. It was very special and brought me much peace. I have been feeling like something is going to happen during the birth of this child to me or our son. I am sure part of these feelings are because of loosing a child, my Dr. said that many times mother's who have had multiple children with no complications tend to be anxious because they feel like something will happen now because all the other birth have been without complications. It was nice to hear I am not alone in my feelings, but not nice to have these feelings. So the blessing was a huge comfort when I was told that my delivery who go similar to my previous ones and that the medical team will help meet our needs. That I will be able to hold my son against my chest and there will be a bond of love that we will share and that this child will need at this time in the world, with Satan fighting to get people, my love for my son will help him choose the right and withstand the temptations of Satan in his life. I was reminded how much my Father in Heaven loves me and that I have a spouse who loves me with all his heart and wants to help, I just need to ask. I was told that I have been very sensative in listing to the promptings of the spirit in having our children. That I have listened to the Spirit and not to friends and family about how close and how many children we have. Many family and friends were and are concerned about the closeness in the age of our children, but I would feel strongly about having a child and listen to those feelings. Everytime we got pregnant within weeks. So hearing that my Father in Heaven is proud of me for listening and acting despite the circumstances in our life and other peoples opinions makes me feel even happier that we made the choices we have made in having children. I am so thankful for the preisthood that Matt's holds that he his a righteous priesthood holder. That I can be told and be reminded of blessings from my Father in Heaven and know it is from him, especially when they are things I only know about, have thought about, and maybe concerned about and be told them. I love my family, I love my Savior, I am thankful for this little spirit that will be joining our family, and for all the other little spirits that we have been entrusted with.