Alright, I know I sound a bit coy in the title of this post, but hey ... just take a look at the picture I attached and you'll discover a key insight into my personality. I like to make light of a difficult situation.
A little over three years ago, we all lost a special little boy named Asa Isaac Keller to the repercussions of severe stroke. The experience was my first encounter with death. At least it was the first time I was emotionally mature enough to understand and feel the brutal reality and lost of a loved one. My father's dad passed away before I was born and my mother's father passed away when I was too young to understand what was going on. I guess I could consider myself fortunate for not experiencing such a heart-breaking event until I was in my late 20's, but when my son passed away I wished I could have had the power to prolong such a meeting for several more years. I guess we can't pick and choose how we encounter death.
Needless to say, the emotions our family felt were deep and cutting. But they were also filled with hope and understanding. To the point where the pain subsided and a feeling of invigoration and life transplanted itself in the craters of our hearts. Yes, our family emerged from the ashes stronger and more convinced that life has a purpose and that it is directed by a plan that is much bigger than our understanding.
Not long after Asa's passing my company asked me to attend to some business in Tokyo, Japan for a few weeks. I love the global workplace and accepted with childish eagerness. When I travel I love taking advantage of the cultural nuances and delicacies. I enjoying meeting people from around the world and experiencing the familiar things they call 'ordinary'. I also enjoy experiencing the familiarity of religion in a foreign land. I love meeting people from various religions, but am particularly drawn to members of my own faith, Latter-day Saints. While visiting Japan, I took the opportunity to visit the LDS temple and enjoy an ordinance session in a language I didn't understand. The words were different but the spirit of God felt familiar. I also attended a local Sunday service and met a more established member who was originally from Utah, but worked for a large bank in Japan. We thought it would be fun to have dinner together but were not able to on my first trip to Japan. However, when I returned three weeks later, we did enjoy each other's company over a dinner and felt a bond that seemed longer than the short time we had known each other. One of our closing remarks was an acknowledgment of this particular feeling and posed the idea of maybe knowing each other in a life before this one.
I believe my friend felt this with more strength then I did at the particular time, but I'm convinced he was (and is) more in-tune then I was. I guess that is what a little extra seasoning does. A few weeks after our dinner, his daughter experienced difficulty with her kidney functionality and found herself literally at death's door. I had no idea the roller-coaster ride his family was soon to experience, but what I do know is that the emotions his family felt covered the entire spectrum of human feeling. Thankfully, things worked out and his daughter recently celebrated her first year of life post-kidney donation. What a miraculous and heroic story.
Ten years ago, my mother-in-law (Pat) was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease that manifested itself like lupus. I cannot speak for Pat, but, in my eyes, the past ten years have been frustrating as her kidney's have slowly shutdown, and her lifestyle has had to be adjusted to compensate. Eight months ago, the quality and expectancy of her life whittled down to lifetime dialysis or a kidney transplant. Reluctantly, Pat started asking family and friends if they would be willing to be tested as a possible kidney match. Now, I've always been a big fan of zombie movies, and yes, she is qualified to receive a cadavoric transplant, but come on ...
So, I accepted the challenge to be tested. I honestly entered the process thinking I would be excluded from the donation for whatever reason. Take your pick of possible reasons. With such a mindset it was interesting to experience a complete change of heart as the test results returned with the possibility of being an excellent match for donation. How could I be a match? I'm not even blood kin. I don't even have the same blood type. I have three children, a wife pregnant with another child, and I'm a semester away from graduating from school. Oh well, I thought. I'll get booted out of the potential pool soon. Right? No. Each test only promote a clearer confirmation of the previous testing results. I was an excellent match. It was after the first few batches of tests when I knew I needed to get my head straight if I was going to progress.
I reached out to my friend in Japan and explained my situation. He and his wife were incredibly positive and supportive of the steps I was taking. They provided me a wealth of information and challenged me to take my situation to the Lord. I followed their instructions to the letter and discovered peace in the direction the testing was headed. I felt Heavenly Father was testing me and wanting to know if I was willing to sacrifice for one of his spirit children. All of the science I researched indicated a need for only one kidney to function normally, and that the long term result of donation is minimal. Donation would have little impact on my quality or active life style. It would put me out 4 - 6 weeks for recovery. However, I still was facing a major operation with the possibility of the kidney being rejected by Pat's immune system. Before I could make a decision I needed to receive a Priesthood blessing to hear what needed to be done. I asked a very close friend of mine to be the mouth piece of the blessing, and walked away knowing that the Lord's will was to donate if called upon. I was committed to do it.
Two weeks ago, Pat and I completed our testing and I've been cleared to donate. Not one to wait around, we scheduled a surgery date for October 6th. And I feel awesome with my decision.
I've shared a lot about how I feel of the experience in an attempt to provide some insight into my thinking and feeling. However, I do not want to promote any sense of self-righteousness in my explanation. I'm feel humbled to be qualified to donate and be an instrument in prolonging my mother-in-laws' life. At the end of six weeks, I will continue on with my life the way it was before ... just 8 ounces lighter. Pat is the real hero. She has a tough 3 month recovery ahead of her. She will be pumped full of anti-rejection drugs, and immune drugs, and pain killers, and .... The list goes on and on. I read somewhere the cocktail could be as much as 30 pills a day! Afterward, she will have to maintain a lifestyle that promotes the health of her kidney. That means limiting the foods and activities that bring severe toxins into her renal function. She will have to watch her diet, take pills, avoid over exposure to the sun, etc. However, she will not have to be on dialysis, she will regain her stamina, she will live a longer life, and my kids will be able to know their grandmother as they grow up ... a luxury I was not able to afford with my grandfathers. In the end, Pat has the real fight ahead of her, and in the end, she will be the hero that rises triumphant in fighting a terrible disease.
I ramble, but if you have any questions feel free to reach out to me and/or visit these websites. Your thoughts and prayers are always welcome. And I'll keep everyone posted as I progress toward the surgery.
General information on kidney donation: http://www.kidney.org/ATOZ/index.cfm
Information about the kidney surgery: http://www.mayoclinic.org/kidney-transplant/livingdonorfaq.html
YouTube Video of Nephrectomy surgery (not for the faint of heart but incredibly informative in a hands on way): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJK5n6RGC_s
